God and pleasure

So... the point of this post in three words: I need God. I've been realizing that there are parts of my life that I seem to be keeping God out of. And regardless of what I'm doing, whether it's work or pleasure, I want God to be a part of it. There are times for having fun, and there are times for focusing solely on God. And those aren't separate things; giving time and glory to God can definitely be fun as well. If I'm spending all my time entertaining myself and being selfish and trying to please myself and others, and keep God totally separate, I'll be torn in two. It just won't be a good thing. It's amazing that God cares for us and wants to be in a relationship with us despite our weaknesses and imperfections. And I know I'm very far from perfect. I can't help but think what people 'of the world' think when they know we're a Christian but know that we don't always live the life we're supposed to. It probably just supports their notion that Christians are hypocrites. I was discussing this with someone who was saying how hard it can be to minister to children at Sunday school when you're spiritually low and not living the lessons you're preaching. And I basically said that even though we're not perfect, we're supposed to point people to a God who is. It's not about us... it's all about God, and the grace, love, forgiveness, and justice of God. So anyways, without telling myself what I need to do or be, what I know for sure is that I don't want to go there without God. Otherwise I don't see how the path will lead anywhere but to destruction. But I have the feeling that it's not quite right if I say, "God, I wish to go this way. And I don't want to go alone. Will you be with me and be a part of this?" I know that the more correct thing I should be saying is "God, where do you want me to go? Where are you leading so that I can follow?" This is where the breaking starts, when a part of me wants to go one way, but something tells me that it's not a direction that God wants me to go in. So I need to choose between my way and God's way (and obviously God's way is always better). Maybe there are several different paths before me, and God wants me to choose one and can bless me on the path I choose as long as I walk with Him. But surely there are some paths that can work out and others that will lead to further pain.